Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The lost for words

Its that lost of words. that point where everything you wanted to say just couldn't come out. It wouldn't. Like a mind of its own, jumbled in a knot, told you that it just can't find the words to explain. It never easy to be yourself for fear the other might reject and again alone you re in the dangerous circle of life. Powerful things have always been done by the use of words, but in the simple moment of intense hormones you find yourself at that lost of words. Even when the feelings are mutual you never really know why the other side is feeling the way it is. Never knowing that if the same feelings are balanced between two objects. But maybe that's why it is. because there aren't really ever any words to explain the true feelings one feels for another person. Just the words that are used to lightly. Its that lost for words that express more then any word in the dictionary can ever do. We will all be at a lost for words one day.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

What have you learned today?

This is something I read from LadyTrina. It is the essence of who I am and what keeps me feeling good about myself.

What have you learned today?

There was a very over weight woman with stained yellow teeth and 6 toes on her left foot who I use to work with in a government job many years ago.She would come in everyday and said "Good Morning" to everyone, even to a girl she knew, a particular person, who would think it was funny to call her in the office by making cow noises.I worked there 8 months and got word that I was being transferred to a different office. My last day I was in the lunch room alone with her. She looked at me and told me I needed to paint my nails to match that really pretty pink shirt I have. Now that the ice was broken I asked her, "Why don't you file a harrassment charge on so and so for treating you like that?" She said, "Girl! I could careless what her or anyone else thinks of me. I know myself, I love myself, I hate no one. Let them, her, say what they feel." She was silent for a minute, then chimed up and said, "besides in 2 weeks I'll be the new office manager."From that day, from her, I learned that confidence and the ability to give compliments are 2 things that makes someone beautiful.

I welcome any critizism, ignorance and jealousy, because:"I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. I know myself, I love myself, I hate no one. Say what you feel!" But, just know, in 2 weeks I could possibly be your office manager. :) Now I ask this, what positive thing have you learned from a different ethnicity?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Not a Cruch just Something that Respects Me

YOu don't ask then I won't ignore it. I am not going to pu myself in the position of being a burden. The thing I am not saying are the things I know you don't want to hear. Sure I am willing to hear your problems and give you some type of detailed feedback. I respect you. Any person who is willing to try to be my friend is a respected individual in my book. I know you aren't really my friend but the friend of a freind and I come with the package. No my saturdays might be filled up but just n extended invitation to hang out would be a delight, a sign that you are really willing to bemy freind. But I might not be worth it. I now must come to terms thatI have a life and I need to do what I can to worry about what Michael wants and needs and not whats desired of the group. THe HSA menatality is gone. You are on your way out to. I am a passenger not the driver, but I am now taking over this ship and we are headed towards self-enlightenment. I understand we can't always be together or that we have to split so that oneof us is not held down but you know we will always have our memories. I argue to poke fun or to release the sadness pouring from my eyes. But there is that person who will walk into your life and give you meaning. Someone you could give your heart to and hope 89% they are feeling the same. Friends come and go and memories tend to change with age. Sure we're cool but do you really mean it. Alone with my thoughts.....ITs quiet and thats good.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I miss Prom.

I don't know how the world found itself in the position it is in but things are changing. THis is not political, enviromental, or physical. This is emotional. THe places I have been or the people I went there with are stars in the infinite spaceof my mind. I know the changes are good and the way you take them might not be what you want, but we all set standards or goals that are not to be met. We make them out of the curiousness of the mind. I like change. This change caught me off guard. It will catch you off guard. But now we don't think about and live in the moment. When times are right all will make wrong right. I like this change. I hope you will to.

A Shoo-In

Big papa Luis.

The Brownies....Much <3