Not a Cruch just Something that Respects Me

YOu don't ask then I won't ignore it. I am not going to pu myself in the position of being a burden. The thing I am not saying are the things I know you don't want to hear. Sure I am willing to hear your problems and give you some type of detailed feedback. I respect you. Any person who is willing to try to be my friend is a respected individual in my book. I know you aren't really my friend but the friend of a freind and I come with the package. No my saturdays might be filled up but just n extended invitation to hang out would be a delight, a sign that you are really willing to bemy freind. But I might not be worth it. I now must come to terms thatI have a life and I need to do what I can to worry about what Michael wants and needs and not whats desired of the group. THe HSA menatality is gone. You are on your way out to. I am a passenger not the driver, but I am now taking over this ship and we are headed towards self-enlightenment. I understand we can't always be together or that we have to split so that oneof us is not held down but you know we will always have our memories. I argue to poke fun or to release the sadness pouring from my eyes. But there is that person who will walk into your life and give you meaning. Someone you could give your heart to and hope 89% they are feeling the same. Friends come and go and memories tend to change with age. Sure we're cool but do you really mean it. Alone with my thoughts.....ITs quiet and thats good.

10 to 4

Things run in circles it may work differently for you and I know I am different. Timing has its perks although akward its its the best feeling of all. When it smiles and no one has the same expression and all you can do is smile back. I don't have to be that man, I know that now. Tried so hard to besomething I wasn't. I know you hav tried but Its not good for you. Sometimes you are the person you have to be even if it is the demon in the mirror. I understand the pain of feeling lonely something you hate but can't help but feel. Not even the friends in the world can change that. They tell you the right person will come around and you shrug that "meaningless" advice off. But I think what they really mean is wait. Wait till they find you. Wait till the lonelyness takes its toll on you to the point where you just stop trying to find that person. At that point you are the lonelyest. Thats what they don't tell you. I admit some don't even make it to that point and some do but never make it out. The relatios might think they know everything but it takes one at his or her lowest point emotionally and mentally to hit the nail on the gun. My point is I won't give up and nether shoud you. I'm just waiting now.

They judge first and care later!

I can't change the way I feel for her. Even If I know she belongs to someone else. Even if I know we will never feel the same towards each other. I just want to move on. I felt this way about her way to long. I let my feelings take over and I don't want that. I thought it would all change after she said no the first time. All I wanted was to know was who did she want me to be. They tell you people don't change. They tell you men won't change for any woman. She made me want to be better. I would have changed the world if she asked me to. I just wanted to be the person she could trust and love forever. But I was held back. My thought of insecurity and poor judgement. The person people see is not the person people should get to know, but its the person they tend to judge first. But I would do the same to anybody else. I cared. I cared about her well being or if she is happy. I only have one life and I feel like I am alone. Its too bad no one will stop judging the wrong image. I am my own companion.

Thanksgiving's turkey coma

My mother out does herself ever day of the year! Here is just a day out of this year! She enjoys the work and loves making people happy! To all those who had a great thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving. Still to stuffed to post elaberatly. Just here some of what you missed out on;






I still to full!!!!!

The World is what it is!

I live to expire before the hands of time. We fall victim to those around us, those who make that impression in our hearts, by the way they behave We love and let live with out a word, not speaking til its too late. To just want to be there when she falls only to catch her is a wish too far out of reach. Never being recognized for the mind i hold but the hard candy shell to big to desire makes you just hit that point of loneliness. True feelings alive but stay hidden from the ones they love. Waiting for a woman is the greatest joy in the world, to feel needed. But for now it only me.

COFFEE IS BAD FOR MY HEART

When you need friends they may be busy but all you have to do is raise your voice and they will stop and listen. I love JJ as a brother and he will make something of himself! He has a place in the collective!

TIME IS NOT ON YOUR SIDE

Went to borders today and did some work and took a test and read some books....FUN

If the coffe is just right raise your hand.....any hands?

"Everyday beats the next day," says my buddy JJ.

I felt it and I think that if you look deep in side and set a goal you will reach that shining star of hope. What will tomorrow bring will life make it easier? its all apart of the ride and I feel every bump. But in the darkness of the light we try to define those bumps and the cracks in the ground as if we are on pins and needles hoping another will not reach us. I love life and I love people and to them smile will make my life for a million years. It is why I want to own my own business, to make people happy on my own terms. Just to see them smile.

DO PEOPLE LOVE COFFEE?

As of to day I will start my weekend project recreating the building I want for my business. But I will need to go again, Is it illegal to measure a place that is for lease without permission when there isn't a "NO TRESPASSING" sign? I love the place if only my business plan was done but my partners are not finished with school! If we all were on the same page! The building is sweet!!!!!! If you ask me where do I see myself in 2 years(I know to short) I would proudly tell you the proud owner of a coffee shop!

WHERE DO YOU LIKE IN YOUR COFFEE SIR/MAM

Where Do I go From here? Get myself some cheesecake!